Okay, you have or are going through the “Big Disconnect”, you are at some phase of Detox from the Religious Matrix wondering “Just how deep does this Rabbit Hole go?” when, -BOOM!- from the depths of detox something emerges: Anger. “The cringe factor” and an almost irresistible urge to spew out all the hurt, the pain, disappointment and questions you’ve been keeping stuffed way down inside when you were in the RM. I mean, you had to, right? To question, to show anything else but a happy face and to nod in agreement with what Agent Smith said was “the truth” was at least foolish if not down-right dangerous. Lethal even. You could be branded a “loose cannon”, a heretic. Someone who was “under rebellion”. Worse yet if you happen to be female for then you get the added “Jezebel” or “witch” label. So you stuffed and stuffed, keeping the questions to yourself, hiding all that was going on deep inside because those in the system just wouldn’t understand and they would tear you to shreds. There must be something wrong with you because surely they don’t have these problems, right? I mean, they MUST have it all together . . .right???
But then your world was busted, broken into. Peter Pan showed up, you followed Alice through the Looking Glass. The Enterprise beamed you up and now you have truly gone where no one has gone before. (Except you will encounter The One who has gone on before and is coming back . . .). You’ve been set free but you got this suitcase of “stuffed things” that you just can’t seem unload. The urge to unload to anyone (or on anyone or anything) is hard to resist.
This is very understandable. Let me suggest it is not necessarily wrong either. But before we unpack this farther, let me suggest that “How one leaves the last setting will be key to how one enters the next setting”, as put forth by my friend Martin Scott. (You can find the his perspective on that here . . . http://3generations.eu/blog/archives/183 )
Let me encourage you that Yeshua invites you to bring it all: All the light stuff, all the Dark stuff into conversation with him. It’s of no surprise to him. That’s the first and best place to bring and unload it. Be open to the clearing, cleaning and healing process. There will be a “sorting” process as well. The “wheat from the chaff” process (to use a well-worn expression). Some of the crap that gets cleaned up is legit and the lessons learned remembered. Other crap is the level result of our own ego: the base self, the ever pouting child who wants its’ own way (which is never easy to face).
The mode of leaving is important because it will affect the next portion of your journey. Call it “the ripple affect” if you will. I can’t really explain it, only describe it. Call it “sowing and reaping”, karma, the law of three-fold return, what goes around comes around . . . whatever. That’s why I said in my last post “First Things” that the first thing to do is nothing because the temptation after the “BD” is to run out and join, do or start something religious. That will just inevitably perpetuate the problem. Do we really want to project forward that which we are trying to leave?
And remember what I said about all those who don’t seem to have that problem and appear to have it all together? That’s a lie. It’s an illusion fostered somewhat by conformance to the RM and mostly by the ego. Believe me, those folks are stuffing just as much, putting on “faces” just as much as you or I.
Another irritating thing in all of this is that there was SOME good stuff that came out of all our time in the system. It wasn’t all bad. This of course does not mean to justify the stuff that was bad. Misuse and Abuse does have to be pointed out. But neither does Misuse and abuse negate Original Intent either. So in cleaning house try not to throw out the good with the bad. The good stuff hang onto for you will need it for the journey ahead. It may be difficult but develop a discipline of Thanks Giving, of finding the Gold in all the dirt. Find a good, safe place to deal with all the crap. Flinging “it” around will likely result getting it on everything around ad the road ahead. Something you won’t want to step in later on.
You will find people on this Journey with whom you can share all the pain and sorrow with. They are a joy and blessing to find. They will keep what you share in confidence, but they won’t keep you from moving on, they will encourage you to keep on “keeping on”. Beware those who are stuck in “Crabby detox” (a term I borrow from Robby Mac, author of “Detoxing from Church”. By the way, where the heck is Robby Mac? His web presence has mysteriously vanished . . .) Those in crabby detox have stopped on their journey and are content to rant, rave and rage about real (and illusionary) abuses of others in the RM. They will welcome you with open arms but will pull you back down when you try to leave. (Misery loves company).
The Good News in all of this is The One who has set you free has not left you alone. Like Merlin was to Arthur, like Morpheus was to Neo, like Elijah was to Elisha so is Yeshua there for you. There is Shalom to be found on this mysterious road of The Journey. Speak Peace to your past so that Peace waits for you ahead.